Cullen Time An Internet Spectacular
by ThisIsNotWonderland
Summary: What if the Cullen's started a youtube sensation. Will Jasper think he's Beyonce? Will Emmett crash a plane into Esme's garden? Will Alice go on a quest to find Cedric Diggory? All is revealed in...CULLEN TIME!
1. Chapter 1

_**(A/N- Here we go guys, something me and my fellow writer and BAFFY cheesymeerkatpuns have came up with as an idea ages ago.)**_

_***I am currently writing the next part of Chocolate Eyes.**_

_****DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT...:'(**_

**CULLEN TIME!**

*Alice and Bella are standing in the Cullen's living room*

Alice: Hey there, people of earth and beyond. This is the pilot episode of Cullen Time!

*Emmett bursts in wearing a hat, scarf and goggles with his arms stretched out like an aeroplane *

Emmett: Neeee Naaawwww!

Bella: What the cheesepuffs are you doing?

Emmett: Well Alice said it's the pilot episode of Cullen Time, so I'm being a pilot!

Bella: No, Emmett. A pilot episode is the first episode of a new series.

Emmett: Well at least I didn't fly the plane I hired through the living room.

Esme: *screaming* Emmett Dale McCarty Cullen! Why is there a giant aeroplane in the garden, squashing all my flower beds?

Emmett: I gotta run! See you in a bit!

Bella: Oh dear...

Alice: Now let's see what Carlisle, Jasper and Edward are up too.

*Camera rattles about as they run up the stairs and when they enter the room the camera is dropped*

Bella: Oh...My...God...

*Alice picks up camera to find Jasper, Carlisle and Edward dancing to single ladies by Beyonce*

Jasper: All the single ladies, all the single ladies  
All the single ladies, all the single ladies  
All the single ladies, all the single ladies  
All the single ladies

Now put your hands up  
Up in the club, we just broke up  
I'm doing my own little thing  
Decided to dip and now you wanna trip  
Cause another brother noticed...ALICE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!

*Alice runs out of room screaming followed by Bella*

Bella: We are experiencing technical difficulties...

*Camera Screen goes fuzzy*

**_(A/N- This was the first episode of Cullen time, and I know it's not very funny, but trust me, I have a few surprises up my sleeve- mwahahahahahaha *chokes* _**


	2. Finding Cedric Diggory

CULLEN TIME EPISODE 2...

_**(A/N- Well here is episode two! I believe this one is funnier than Episode One, but if anyone has any suggestions you can PM me, or let me know in the reviews.)**_

_**DISCLAIMERS!**_

_**I own the plot but I do not own Twilight! Well...NEITHER DO YOU! (UNLESS YOUR STEPHENIE MEYER,in which I would be so pleased if you were reading this humble fanfiction)**_

_**Larry The Leprechaun is partly mine, but was created by my wee buddy Susie. **_

_**I am not Beyonce, so 'Best Thing I never had' and 'Halo' are not mine!**_

_**I am also not Mike Posner, so 'Cooler than Me' is also not mine.**_

_**(I'd reccomend if you haven't listened to any of the songs ,mentioned above you listen to them)**_

_**I don't own the brand Ray Bands, Harry Potter, Cedric Diggory or Robert Pattinson**_

_**The word EVERYTHING which Larry screams is an inside joke between me and two of my friends, Matt and Megan**_** (****megzeeh**_** . lol . .uk)**_

_**You Americans and your Schemes was created by myself and my cousin Regan many summers ago...**_

*Alice, Renesmee, Bella and Jasper are sitting in Edward's Room*

Bella: Hey there guys, this is episode Two of Cullen Time, the brand new show based off our family. We're sorry we haven't been updating in a while, after two weeks of therapy, Alice has finally got over the fact that Jasper is a Beyonce impersonator.

Jasper: Everywhere I'm looking now  
I'm surrounded by your embrace  
Baby, I can see your halo  
You know you're my saving grace  
You're everything I need and more  
It's written all over your face  
Baby, I can feel your halo  
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo  
I can see your halo  
I can feel your halo  
I can see your halo  
Halo, ooh ooh...

Alice: Jazz, really? Not needed.

*Jasper jumps out of window and lands in trees before running away*

Renesmee: Anyway, this episode we've decided to do a movie review on...HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE!

Bella: By far, Cedric Diggory was the best character, I love that guy!

Alice: Yeah...but he kind of reminds me on someone... hmm...

*Edward walks into room*

Alice: OH MY CARLISLE! EDWARD! YOU'RE CEDRIC DIGGORY'S EVIL TWIN!

Bella: Ew, no way! Edward's way hotter than that Cedric guy.

Alice: Well, I'm convinced that he's Edward's twin. I'm going to try and fine him.

Renesmee: Erm, Auntie Alice, did you watch the end of the Goblet of Fire?

Alice: No, why?

Bella: CEDRICK DIES!

Alice: Gee, Bella, thanks for spoiling the ending. Well, I'm going to Hogwarts to trace this guy down. Be back soon...*stares blankly for a second* I JUST HAD A VISION! Bella, if Emmett goes anywhere NEAR my clothes you rip off his arm. Ca Piche?

Bella: Si.

*Larry the Leprechaun runs out from under Edward's giant pile of CD's. *

Larry: Holy Cow! I've been trapped under there for weeks! I've seen everything you and your lovely wife have been up to! EVERYTHING! You Americans and your SCHEMES!

*Runs away*

Alice: I better go...*runs away*

Bella: Alone...at last...

Renesmee: MOMMY! I'M STILL HERE!

Edward: I just realised that during the previous conversation I didn't say anything.

*Door opens and Rosalie walks in*

*Cooler than Me plays*

*Renesmee, Bella and Edward just act as if nothing has happened*

*When Rosalie stops, the music stops. Every time she takes a step, the music plays*

Edward: Oh, hey Rose.

Rosalie: Notice anything?

Edward: New shoes?

Rosalie: Nope.

Bella: Hair Cut?

Rosalie: Guess again...

Renesmee: You're wearing Alice's Ray Bands?

Rosalie: Yes, but we don't tell her that...anyone care to make another guess? No, well I've wired my shoes to play 'Cooler Than Me' every time I take a step. How epic!

Edward: Oh, I was gonna guess you've gained weight. Your top looks a little snug in the stomach area...not to mention your jeans looking very tight in the thigh area.

Bella: Come to mention it, she does have slight bingo wings...

Renesmee: And a slight double chin.

*Rosalie does look about 20 lbs heavier*

Rosalie: I cannot believe you guys just said that! Is it even possible for a vampire to gain weight? I HATE YOUS!

*Jumps out window and starts tearing down trees*

Bella: We should maybe not go hunting as often. It's starting to show...

*Door opens and Alice comes back in*

Alice: I couldn't find any trace of Cedric! Only this Patterson guy! He looks similar to Edward!

Robert Pattinson: The name's Pattinson, Robert Pattinson. And there's no way I look like that pasty skinned freak!

Edward: Yeah, I do not look like that puny, slug-browed weakling.

*Larry runs in with lots of other leprechauns*

Larry: THERE HE IS! ATTACK EDWARD!

*Leprechauns pick up Robert Pattinson and carry him away*

Edward: C'mon...really!

*Jasper runs back in*

Jasper: What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)  
What goes around comes back around (hey my baby)  
I say what goes around comes back around (hey my baby)  
What goes around comes back around...


End file.
